How I Met My Husband

Photo by Andre Hunter on Unsplash

When my husband AJ and I were first dating, we bonded over the TV show How I Met Your Mother. Do you know how my husband and I met? It’s quite an interesting story.

We first met at a mutual friend’s birthday dinner held at BJ’s in Westlake Village, CA. We sat at opposite ends of the table, so we didn’t even get a chance to talk. Apparently AJ was checking me out the whole time, but I was completely oblivious. When I got up to leave, he took that as an opportunity to walk out with me. We chatted for a little bit. I left thinking, “He seems nice,” but didn’t think anything of it.

Reconnected Through a Mutual Friend

Flash forward a year later, and I received a phone call from our mutual friend. She had moved up to the Bay Area and had just hung out with AJ, who had asked about me. How he remembered me a year later still baffles me. Anyway, my friend had a good intuition about us and played matchmaker. She gave my contact info to AJ.

We started off communicating via e-mail and then phone calls. Then we eventually went on dates. In fact, our first date was at the BJ’s in Oxnard. He chose the location. I wore a nice summer dress, and he came in an Affliction T-shirt and shorts. A small part of me was a little surprised that he didn’t dress up. But I didn’t judge him for it. I like dressing casually, too.

He was a good conversationalist, and he made me laugh. When we finished eating, I offered to help pay the bill. I worked full-time and thought it was only fair. But being the gentleman he is, he wouldn’t let me. I felt good chemistry with him and decided to continue dating him.

Keeping My Options Option

While I was talking to him and our relationship wasn’t official, I was playing the field and also talking to some other guys from a free online dating site. I remember reading one guy’s profile and thinking he looked perfect on paper. I thought he would be more compatible with me than AJ. So I went on a first date with him but was disappointed to find out there was no chemistry.

I was pretty ruthless back then. If a guy didn’t pique my interest on the first couple dates, I’d move on. I should feel bad . . . but I don’t. Why should I waste both of our time if I’m not genuinely interested?

On a side note, this goes to show just how much power women have. Lots of men can pursue a woman, and she has the power to reject them.

Relationship Blossoms

Anyway, where was I? AJ and I dated, fell in love, got engaged at Mondo Winery in Paso Robles after 1.5 years, then got married another 1.5 years later. He was finishing up grad school and didn’t want to get married until after he graduated.

I’m impressed with him - at the time, he was working full-time, going to grad school part-time, and still managed to fit me into his schedule. It probably also helped that I’m pretty independent and don’t need his constant attention. We have so many fun memories.

When we were first dating, I showed photos of him to my mom and some friends. Their initial first impression of him? He looks like a playboy! I had shown them photos displayed on his Facebook profile. He had recently visited South Korea to visit a college friend and had a lot of photos posing with random Korean women (a challenge egged on by single guy friends).

AJ also had a photo of him wearing a bougie shirt, posing in front of a mirror. It turned out he had gone shopping with a female friend. They decided to have a little fun - the female friend had AJ try on and model all these expensive shirts that he would never buy.

I was so confused by their initial reactions. “What?! He’s not a playboy! He’s really sweet!” But that just goes to show how judgmental people can be (it’s human nature). Also, a person can’t really be fully portrayed by a couple photos. Fortunately after meeting him in person and getting to know him, my mom and friends changed their minds about him.

My mom liked AJ because he’s a Christian and will eat pretty much anything she cooks. My dad thought he was nice. I’m sure he also thought something along the lines of: “Great! Some other guy can take care of her in the future.”

How I Met Our Mutual Friend

Ok, but the most interesting part of this story is how I met our mutual friend. I met her online. She had recently graduated from a college in northern CA and had moved down here to be with her boyfriend who worked at a local, biotech company. Living in a different area, she wanted to meet new people

I was also interested in meeting new people. I had moved back to my parents’ house after graduating from college, and most of the friends I grew up with were now spread apart all over the place. When I saw her post online, I thought, “She seems friendly.”

She also had a last name that sounded Korean. I don’t know why, but that automatically made me trust her a little more. Familiarity is comfortable. “Oh, she’s Korean? I think we could be friends.” And we did become friends!

Conclusion

Don’t worry. I don’t usually meet random people from the Internet. But on the rare occasions that I do, I’ve gotten lucky. Sometimes being vulnerable is worth it.

Sometimes you will find love when you least expect it. I personally believe God puts people in our lives (whether it be friends, potential significant others, or spouses) because He has a plan. He knows what he’s doing. Everything happens for a reason.