20 Ways I Improved My Mental Health
October 10 is World Mental Health Day. According to the American Psychological Association, depression and anxiety increased during COVID. While the pandemic is no longer a threat, I believe that mental health is still a serious issue. Global conflicts, natural disasters, mass gun shootings, company layoffs, health issues as we age . . . there’s so much going on right now that can cause fear.
The headline on my LinkedIn profile states that I’m a Mental Health Advocate, so I feel compelled to share some tips as to what’s helped me improve my mental health over the years.
I tend to hold a holistic view. Everything’s connected. In order to achieve well-being, I try to balance all the different healths in my body - physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual.
Be aware of your emotions and how you’re feeling. If something feels really off, don’t be afraid to seek help.
Move your body. Want to know what the first homework exercise my therapist (when I was seeing one) gave me was? Exercise. This habit can be really easy for some people and really hard for others (*ahem* me). Find something you enjoy doing and try to consistently stick with it. Don’t try to copy what others are doing. I may see a lot of my friends on social media running races, but I already know I hate running. According to Gretchen Rubin’s Four Tendencies personality framework, I’m an Obliger. I do best when I attend group fitness classes and have someone holding me accountable. A little bit of movement is better than no movement. Only have 15 minutes? Go on a brisk walk, do some jumping jacks, etc.
See a therapist, if you think that may help. Perhaps you need someone to confide in or you need someone to hold you accountable for your mental health. Maybe you need help figuring out why you are the way you are. But from my experience, it can be difficult to find someone whom you actually find beneficial. Also, a therapist can listen to you and can help you think about things you may not have thought about on your own, but they can’t change you. Whether it’s from seeing a therapist or reading a plethora of self-help books, you can gain all the knowledge you want but if you don’t take action and work on implementing changes in your life, guess what? Nothing’s going to change.
Try to have a healthy lifestyle. Other than exercising, you’re probably already aware that you should be eating foods that fuel your body and getting enough sleep. But also, don’t make that your god. I think it’s important to enjoy life, so I choose to sometimes enjoy good food even if it’s not the healthiest. Unless it’s necessary, I also don’t think it’s worth being so strict with yourself if it may hinder relationships with others. Don’t exude a “I’m better than you because I’m healthier” vibe. But maybe I’m just saying that because I’m secretly jealous of your discipline. Make sure you’re consuming enough protein (you’ll feel full for longer). Reduce or eliminate your alcohol intake. Alcohol is a depressant and a drug. You may think it helps relieve stress, but it doesn’t help your brain health. Too much caffeine is also not healthy - be mindful of your consumption.
Practice gratitude daily. Rather than think about the things you don’t have, focus on the things you do have.
Don’t compare yourself to others. This is so much easier to do in this age of social media where you’re seeing everyone’s highlight reel - their fun gatherings, their celebrations, their achievements, their cool trips, their beautiful moments. Everyone has different gifts and different journeys. Also, be mindful of who you follow on social media. Other than people I actually know, I choose not to follow people who don’t inspire me, educate me, or make me laugh. I purposely choose not to follow big celebrities, particularly females. Maybe they can be inspirational, but their fame and beauty, in my opinion, aren’t realistic standards. I don’t need to be subconsciously making social comparisons with them.
Don’t pay too much attention to the news. The news often portrays negative things happening in the world. It’s good to be aware, but being constantly inundated can get depressing.
Change your environment. This can be as simple as spending some time outside and soaking in some Vitamin D or as drastic as traveling to a new country. Don’t worry if you can’t afford to travel. The grass isn’t greener on the other side; the grass is greener where you water it.
Have a mind like a child’s. Having a kid helps remind you to be a kid again. Savor moments. See the beauty in the ordinary. Continue to grow and learn things. Be open-minded in hearing other people’s perspectives.
Maintain relationships and hang out with loved ones, ideally in person. It’s easy to get so caught up in your own life that you forget to nourish the inherent need for social connection. At my son’s request, I’m also going to add that cuddles are the best.
Grow your relationship with God. I try to prioritize praying and reading the Bible. My family and I attend church on Sundays to worship God and surround ourselves with like-minded believers. But I’m also aware that not everyone shares my faith, and I’m not here to shove my religion down your throat. There may be other spiritual practices that could work for you. Meditation is very popular these days. I’ve tried it and do think it’s beneficial, but for whatever reason, I’ve had a difficult time implementing it as a regular habit. I’ve recently been exploring the Oak app but have also used the Insight Timer and Abide apps in the past.
Don’t care too much about what others think of you. This may prevent you from doing the things you actually want to do. Holding this fear may be hindering your success.
Try to maintain a tidy space, but don’t beat yourself up if your house doesn’t look perfect. Also, try not to feel overly self-conscious about how your house looks when you have company over. People usually don’t care about how your house is decorated. They’re just happy to be invited and want to spend time with you.
Dress with confidence. After becoming a mom, I do dress a lot more casually (think: leggings and pullovers). While I’ve always preferred comfort over style, I do notice a difference in mood and energy when I feel more put together. Sometimes I use church, date nights, or Moms Night Outs as an excuse to dress up.
Find ways to practice kindness or serve others. Doing something nice for others can help you forget about your own problems. In the past, I’ve volunteered in my son’s classroom and at the school’s festivals. I occasionally volunteer in the Special Abilities ministry - this has taken me outside my comfort zone, but it often sparks a light in my soul.
Listen to uplifting music. Music can elevate your mood and energy. I listened to a lot of indie alternative in high school, and I don’t think that helped with my teenage angst.
Humor is the best medicine - find ways to laugh. I know too much screen time is no bueno, but I think escaping every once in a while helps me cope with the harsh realities of life. I’m often attracted to funny videos on Instagram, and I often share them in my Stories. If it makes me smile/laugh, why not share the happiness with others?
Don’t hold on to grudges. Forgive others. If applicable, this includes your parents. They may have hurt you. You may have suffered from generational trauma and had to find healing as an adult. But realize they’re only human. They hopefully raised you the best they knew how. We’re instructed to honor our parents. Show them love and mercy.
Allow yourself rest and take breaks from productivity.
Make the time to do things you enjoy doing, even if it’s as trivial as watching a K-drama. Bonus points if it enables you to be creative.
Speaking of K-dramas, I’m currently watching Love Next Door on Netflix. It captures my attention because I can relate to the main character. After 10 years of working a “good job” as a product manager in the U.S., she gets burned out. She quits her job, calls off her engagement, and moves back to South Korea to start anew. I’m going to end this post with the following quotes:
Student: Then, what was your dream?
Seok-ryu: My dream?
Student: Yes. When you were in high school, what did you want to be?
Seok-ryu: Now that I have to answer, I don’t really know. Back then, just coming in first in everything was my dream. I wanted to be a daughter my mom could be proud of. I wanted my teachers to praise me. I wanted everyone to recognize me. Looking back now, I feel a bit sorry for myself.
Student: Why?
Seok-ryu: I cared about how others saw me, and I don’t think I paid attention to myself.
Teacher: Seok-ryu, you’ve always done well. That’s why I worried about you. What if you couldn’t do something well? What would you do then? I don’t think I taught you how to do that. But I realized something after being a teacher for so long. Children keep growing. Even if I don’t teach them, they all find the answers on their own somehow.